Who We Are

In the fall of 2013 when Christina moved to a new church, she told her best friend, “I’m not ready to date or marry anyone right now, but if I were, I would want to date Pai from Sunday School. He’s so wise, and he’s handsome, too.” Her friend encouraged her to ask Pai out for coffee and to get to know him as a friend, and Christina said, “No, I’d want more than just coffee.” 

Meanwhile, Pai had noticed Christina. Their friend and college minister encouraged Pai to get to know Christina a little more, but Pai thought Christina had a boyfriend, so he kept his distance for a few months. 

In February of 2014, Christina gave Pai the world’s most awkward, Christian side hug at their college ministry’s Anti-Valentine’s Day party (which Pai thankfully cannot remember). 

The following weekend, Pai asked Christina to hang out with some mutual friends at a bonfire, and then he asked her on a date. 

5 years later, here we are. 

When we started dating, we knew that this relationship was different. We were committed to each other for a purpose, and we knew that our relationship would not be an easy road. Aside from the typical relationship issues that we all have to work through (communication, selfishness, pride),  there was an added layer that our intercultural relationship brought. 

 We are an interracial couple in East Tennessee, and further than that, we are an intercultural relationship. Christina grew up in the middle of East Tennessee where she was surrounded by whiteness. Pai grew up in Zimbabwe, then Winston-Salem, and then East Tennessee. He experienced double culture shock as he moved to the United States and lived in an urban black neighborhood, and then again when he moved from a diverse area to East Tennessee where he and his brother were two of the three black students in their high school. 

We both realized that the nuance of our relationship was unique; this provided many opportunities for us to grow closer OR grow apart as we learned about each other’s backgrounds, culture, food, and world views. There were things we loved and appreciated about each other – Zimbabwean food, the different perspective on life and faith – but there were also things that threatened to ruin our relationship, such as the occasional lack of empathy and understanding.

As we pressed into our relationship, we started looking around for resources specific to our relationship, but we found none. The fall before our wedding, we met an interracial couple and asked them to mentor us. We realized how important it was for us to have people in our lives who could speak to the nuances of an interracial/intercultural relationship, so we decided to become that resource for others. 

We don’t have marriage 100% figured out. We don’t have racial reconciliation 100% figured out. Our experiences as an intercultural couple will not translate across the board, but we know how to ask deep questions, how to listen with empathy, and how to move forward in love. 

We love each other, and we love all of God’s people. We are the Culture Talk Collective